Christmas
Ritual
(Note: I took a
writing class a couple years ago -- as a non-traditional student -- and decided
to write about Christmas shopping for the assigned topic of Rituals. Edith is a
good writer, and I asked her to look at my essay. Boy-oh-boy, did I hit a sore
spot. I thought she would like it some or at least have a little laugh. Instead,
I got my annual Christmas lecture, only a little earlier than usual.)
On
a Saturday in early November, I made a trip to my favorite hardware store, but I
sensed that something was wrong. This was my haven, a place where I could
examine a seemingly limitless collection of screws, nuts and bolts of different
sizes, colors and shapes. What was it that was causing me to be distracted and
just a little bit irritable? I usually hear soft rock music when admiring the
sleek, carbon-handled hammers. However, on that day, I heard Christmas music.
Oh no! The first signs of Christmas were already here!
There
are many rituals surrounding Christmas, but it is the accumulation and display
of an
unending supply of
Christmas crafts in our home that I have come to dread. My wife, Edith,
and I have a fundamental difference of opinion at this time of year. In a
perfect world, where everything would be done my way, there would be a
freshly-cut tree at the front window decorated with a star and a few simple
garlands. There would be a small manger scene on the fireplace mantle and a
wreath on the front door.
However,
I do not live in a perfect world. Edith, by one means or another, has amassed a
mountain of Christmas crafts. Early in our marriage, there were few decorations
and they were, admittedly, a pathetic looking representation of the Christmas
season. Changes soon began to take place as to both quality and to quantity.
This was insidious, and by the time I figured out that something was different,
numerous other acquisitions had taken place. The additions came mainly from
three sources. They were built , they were purchased and they were received as
gifts.
Most
of the crafts that were constructed were done while Edith belonged to Kindervelt,
a group of women who made Christmas decorations for the annual Christmas sale
which was for the benefit of Children's Hospital. This meant that I was the baby
sitter for our two sons on one or two nights a week while she met with her group
to fashion Christmas tree reindeers
from clothespins. There were always some extra reindeers for our
Christmas tree. Edith always helped with the annual sale and there were about
100 different Kindervelt groups selling Christmas card holders made from Clorox
bottles and other creatively constructed crafts. Many women must be overcome
with an irresistible urge to acquire when they see the
display of
all those "cute" Christmas decorations. There was always a
noticeable change in the decorations found at our house at this time of year.
Edith
no longer belongs to Kindervelt and she tells me that there are no longer any
crafts that appeal to her. I know better. It would be more accurate to say that
she no longer longs to make crafts herself, but is willing to spend some of my
hard-earned money
on the latest gingerbread ornament shaped like an angel. Her mother visited from
out of town and Edith asked me to drop the two of them off at the Christmas
craft sale, sponsored by the local school, and to pick them up later. The
traffic at the sale was very heavy and was directed by five policeman. Only
Edith's mother was to buy something. She needed it as a thank you gesture for
the neighbors who had helped her throughout the year. When I picked them up
later, at the pre-arranged time, they had sheepish looks and large bulging
shopping bags. My wife, supposedly unaffected by the lure of any craft, used her
excellent word skills to avoid any direct discussion of the purchases. I knew
that the inventory had just grown.
The
third major source of
Christmas crafts at our house is from gifts. My idea of a Christmas gift
is an umbrella, socks, underwear and, if
I am in a particularly festive mood, a tee shirt with a clever caricature
or quote. I absolutely
do not understand why it is necessary to give decorations as presents. Both
Edith's sister and my sister have given us such gifts for years and years. This
places me in a difficult position because if I am critical, I appear to be
critical of the
people that I love and care for. The situation is further complicated when
Edith's fifth
grade students, at St. Williams School, give her Christmas gifts. It almost goes
without saying that these gifts are virtually all decorations with a Christmas
motif. When I suggest, in a friendly way, that this is just too much, I am met
with a response that each item is special and it must be kept out of respect for
each child.
Whether
these Christmas crafts are personally constructed, purchased or received as
gifts, there has to be a place to store them when the holiday season is over. I
thought that I had come up with a way to finally control the uncontrollable. I
had built a sizable storage area under the basement steps for
Edith to use in storing
her Christmas decorations. We had a pact that she would keep only what
would fit in this space. Henry Kissinger, at his zenith, could not have been
more proud than I was of this agreement. However, my wife's acquisition ritual
continues each year and our Christmas collection continues to grow. How can this
be happening? Maybe there are some things that I am to never understand.
When
Christmas finally arrives, the house is decorated from top to bottom. When the
family gathers, we share good food, love, forgiveness and friendship. And there
are presents. I always love to get presents and I love to see others enjoy their
presents. Although I must keep it to myself, there are usually some new
Christmas decorations that I like. There were a whole flock of angels on the
piano in the year just past that I silently admired. I always thought that Edith
looked like an angel. When I have some time to myself on Christmas morning, I
like to sit by the Christmas tree and look around the room. The decorations and
how they got there do not seem so important anymore. It is a time to savor at
the season and to recognize those things that are really important. These are
the people in my life, the people that I love.